When You WANT To Exercise But You Don’t Want To

We’ve all been there.

You meet with a trainer. You’re pumped. She’s nice :-). But then you’re like…. I don’t know… I don’t know if I can do this. What if I hurt? What if I fail? What if I don’t like how I feel?

  1. You’re not failing if you keep training. You’re SUCCEEDING.

I don’t drive. I walk in frigid weather miles with a very heavy load on my back. I navigate icy sidewalks and people who don’t know how to drive (which is most people who live in the city that I live in).

I’ll have bags on my arms, swinging away, cutting my circulation off. My shoulders will be aching from the pack on my back.

And what I tell myself is:

One foot in front of the other and I’ll get there. I visualize being home…taking the groceries out, putting stuff away and I’M HAPPY.

I’m alone in this country with a kid. We don’t have anyone. If I want to get any food at all….I have a trek. No one is coming to my rescue. I’ve helped people BIG-time in this country…fed them, catered to them while my husband was dying horrifically. I’m the type of person that people come to for help no matter how badly I’m struggling.

Because of this, I’ve developed intense willpower. And I tell myself:

It’s just you. Put one foot in front of the other and you’ll get there. It’s just you.

POINT: You are the only one who is EVER going to get yourself in shape and only by putting one foot in front of the other. No matter how many times, you want to toss your bags down onto the sidewalk because it hurts so much, the only way you’re going to get there is to keep going. And YOU WILL GET THERE. It’s just going to take time and some major perseverance.

2) Anything that’s worth it, it’s WORK.

My personal training certifications are one of the toughest. I chose them for that reason. Anything that causes you to study your ass off, work like a dog…. is a good program and is WORTH IT.

While setting out on your own exercise program….maintaining a 20-second plank might be powerfully IMPOSSIBLE. That’s where YOU begin AND it’s WORTH it.

Your mind will be saying: “You suck! You can’t do a 20-second plank!!!”

EVERYBODY starts somewhere. After my serious c-spine injury, I had to start from rock bottom. What a slap in the face. But here I am, doing crazy burpee combos.

PUSH THROUGH. Be a Warrior. And yes, even if you don’t have a 20-second plank: You are a WARRIOR.

Your mind will give up before your body does.

3) -I- can’t do that!

Why can’t you? No, really. WHY THE FUCK CAN’T YOU DO IT?

Let me show you some pics with me at 5’3″ after the slow weight gain when I lost the use of my right arm and got fat. (Please don’t make me show them to you!)

“Because I’ve never been THAT.” (Bikini-material or whatever you think about yourself)

So what? You know what’s amazing about the HUMAN BODY? If you feed it well and move it…it becomes amazing…. Your body will do what it was meant to do. It KNOWS what to do.

I have thick thighs…. my genes, what I do with my body (I love squatting, plyos, gymnastics-type activities). You might not ever have a thigh gap (which means absolutely nothing). I have a VERY small waist. Some people are more square… point is, your body will change in ways you weren’t expecting. And some, you’ll need to accept.

4) You learn about yourself while “getting there.”

I think back to my first solo intense HIIT session after being cleared for gradual heavy training by a doctor… My husband saying: “Dear, don’t you think you’re a little hard on yourself?” Maybe, a little LOL.

What have I learned? Patience. While changes for me did occur quickly due to an elite athletic history and not a very long absence from that: I was putting too much into workouts.

I WAS hard on myself.

I regained some confidence in myself and in my body. I can look back and say… “K, you did the impossible.” Looking back… well, I succeeded. In the beginning, while I HOPED I’d do what I’ve accomplished, a big big BIG part of me didn’t think I actually could. I’ll be honest. And I didn’t want just a burpee. I wanted CRAZY shit. Because that’s what I’ve always done.

So I know I’ll…. “make it.” Even when that voice in my head says: “No, you won’t.” Well, I did. There’s no denying that. While everyone was saying, “you can do this,” I was the one who didn’t believe it.

I’ve  learned about pacing shit out. I’ve learned that it doesn’t all have to be hard. I can do a nice stretching session and I’m still killing it.

Being successful on your journey gives you this and it gives you “further power”…. the ceiling is higher. There’s more air. You start to ask: “What else can I do?”

5) You reconnect to you.

Sorry, ladies :S here (where I live). I know all your men aren’t like this: “Fck me, feed me, finance me,” but the majority seem to be. Women here also seem to think this is normal :S or offer excuses for their behavior :S … where I come from, men would be ashamed to behave like that. (Just saying. You deserve better.)

They just take and take and take. And after feeding them and not giving them that sugar….they refuse to leave your property.

I FEEL for you ladies. Well, working out gives you power. That’s why your men don’t want you to do it…. they know….

Working out gives you the sense of This. Is. Mine.

Stop existing for others. Exist for your own damn self.

Maybe you haven’t ever been in shape….so it’s difficult to think, “what does that feel like, to be in great condition?”

AWESOME. That’s what it feels like.

In every way. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.

This is exactly why I call the gym, my church.


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